From the Sidelines: How Involved Should Parents Be in Sports?

Youth sports are about so much more than the scoreboard. They teach teamwork, discipline, communication, and resilience—skills that children carry into adulthood. But the benefits of sports often hinge on how adults, especially parents, approach their role.

Children thrive when they feel supported, not pressured. Studies show that when parents focus on effort, growth, and fun rather than outcomes, kids are more likely to stay engaged in sports—and enjoy them more.

Here's what healthy parental sports involvement looks like:

1. A for effort, not for outcomes.
   Celebrate the hustle, not just the goals or wins. Comments like, “I love how hard you worked today” go much further than, “Why didn’t you score more?”
2. Be there, but don't overdo it.
   Your presence at games and practices sends a message: I care. But being there doesn’t mean taking over. Trust the coach to coach, the referees to ref, and let it be.
3. Invite an open dialogue.
   Ask open-ended questions after games: “What was the best part of today?” or “How did you feel when that play happened?” This keeps the focus on their personal growth—not performance alone.
    

You are your child’s first-ever role model. From you, kids can learn to handle both victories and losses in the world of sports. The way you speak about referees, teammates and opponents and react to wins and losses sets the tone.  "

• Before the game: Wish them luck and remind them to have fun. That’s it. Avoid phrases like, “Don't drag your feet,” or “Get the ball this time!”
• During the game: Cheer enthusiastically but respectfully—for everyone on the field. Praise your player for helping an injured opponent up if that happens.
• After the game: Congratulate them on their effort and attitude, regardless of the result.

When children see you showing kindness, grace, and respect, they learn to do the same, both in life and in sports. 

Navigate rough patches and disappointment together

Sports can be emotional. A tough loss, a questionable call, or limited playing time can stir up strong feelings—for both kids and parents. Here's how to help:

• Acknowledge their feelings: It’s okay for your child to be upset. Validate their emotions without jumping to fix things, though it’s tempting. Phrases such as, “You’re totally right to feel frustrated,” may seem counterintuitive but validation does go a long way.
• Hold off and cool down before speaking to the coach about a concern: If you need to speak with a coach, wait 24 hours after a game and approach with curiosity, not confrontation.
• Focus on growth: Instead of dwelling on mistakes, ask what they learned, one thing they’re proud of and what they think they’d do differently next time.

>>Related: What to do if your athlete is feeling the pressure to win

Competitive sports can become very consuming, but children need balance to thrive.

• Prioritize play and connection: Not every activity needs to be structured. Time with family and friends matters, too. Take advantage of this at as young an age as possible.
• Watch for burnout: Signs include fatigue, irritability, and a sudden loss of interest. If your child seems overwhelmed, it might be time to reassess schedules or goals.
• Support rest and recovery: Nutrition, hydration, sleep, and breaks between seasons are essential for growing athletes.

Your child’s sports journey is about so much more than victories and recognition. It’s about character, connection, and joy. As a parent, your greatest gift isn’t strategy advice or sideline coaching—it’s your unconditional support.